The Ultimate Wedding Formula to Have a Unique Personal Day!

With the advent of social media, and the hours you can spend in a Pinterest hole when planning a wedding, it is easy to feel like your wedding is going to look just like everyone else’s.  And trust me, coming from an ex-wedding planner, turned wedding rental business owner, I have seen countless weddings, that all felt they were super unique, only for me to work one the next weekend that was nearly indistinguishable. 

If you find yourself not really sure what you like anymore and, in a struggle, to make any finalised decisions, I have a formula that can lend you a hand, to ensure your day feels like you (and at the end of the day, this wedding is all about your relationship and who you are)

So, my perfect formula for a unique, personal feeling wedding is:

Let me break this down a bit further for you, beginning with, your relationship so far...

Relationship so far

Ultimately, your wedding is all about your relationship and it moving to a new stage. It’s about celebrating the person you are and the person you love. That is why I think it is CRUCIAL to incorporate your relationship into your day, as really it is the theme!

Here’s some ideas of what you could do to reflect and gain some ideas:

• Whip out some photo albums (or have a scroll through your camera roll!) and reminisce on your relationship so far

• Get any memory boxes you have out and see what treasures are in there

• If you have any diaries, it may be fun to read those back too

• Mind map out your relationship and what is most important to you

• Write the timeline of your relationship out with significant dates

All of these can be combined to have a really fun, lighthearted evening of wedding planning. Though it may not seem like getting too much done, it’s nice to have some time to reflect and may help alleviate any wedding planning stress that's arisen. So, crack open some snacks and share some memories.

Now having done some reflection and research, you can incorporate what you’ve seen in all fun little ways. Some examples might be:

• Having your venue somewhere significant

• Putting a food on your menu that has significant meaning

• Choosing music that means a lot to you

• Setting up a first date photo op for guests to enjoy

• Using memorabilia saved for decor inspiration

• A wedding favour that resembles something significant from your past

Once you start looking through your history, ideas are sure to start flowing. A really personal example I've seen (and loved), included a wedding couple not having a wedding cake at all, but instead having a giant creme brulee. They had shared one on their first date. This meant instead of slicing the cake, they had a big spoon and cracked it together! It just adds a level of personality you may not have thought of previously.

Non-Negotiables

There are many aspects and details which create a wedding, and it can seem truly overwhelming to make choices about every little thing. I recommend picking 2-3 things that are non-negotiables to you and focusing on those. You may choose to split these (one thing each and one shared thing) or decide on them together as a whole. 

Some examples might be:

• Music - If you are both really into your music, or perhaps even musicians, you may want to make music a big priority for the day. You could invest in performers that really matter to you, pay a little bit more for more songs of your choice or if your guests are musical, get them to perform. I have seen plenty of weddings where family has performed, and it never stops being a beautiful, intimate moment (plus can be a great money saver).

• Design - Lots of people choose their decor quite carefully for their wedding, however to some it may be more important than others. To really add some personality, there are lots of ways you can have the design of your wedding make it really special. This is specially great for people in creative fields or with creative hobbies. For example, I planned a wedding for someone who was a graphic designer, so they created all the invites, their wedding website and their wedding signs. This created a really cohesive feeling, but also was incredibly personal as the groom had created it all.

• Vibe - Now this one is a lot more ambiguous, however can be equally important. If you want your wedding to feel really relaxed, like a big family party, then this is going to frame a lot of the choices you make. You’ll want to pick a venue that has a relaxed feeling and understands your vision for the day. You may also want to take out some of the traditions that can clog up the day (formal photos etc.) or add in some extras to the day (games, fun wedding exits etc.). Similarly, if you want your wedding to feel like a traditional wedding, then you’ll want a different style of venue, perhaps a church ceremony is very important to you. 

There are many more examples I could give, but I’m sure you and your partner know what’s most important to you. A good place to start if you’re struggling to think is to go through a wedding checklist (here’s mine) and pick from there. 

Now you’ve got your priorities, simplify the rest! Still make the choices you want, but don’t be so concerned with it as long as it doesn't detract from your top priorities. For example, if canapes aren’t high on your list, ask the venue what their crowd pleasers are and you’re on for a winner. If you’re not as bothered about photos, get a photographer who specialises in being discreet and just getting some good formals and some good candid's, without impeding too much on the day. By laying out your non-negotiables, it can hep you to reevaluate your budget and allocated money, accordingly, choosing to invest in priorities and saving money on the less important stuff too.

Wedding Traditions that you don’t like

Weddings are rife with tradition and cultural significance, and though these are important, there is also lots of room for change. To help create a wedding that feels really personal to you, it is important to build a day that you are going to enjoy and that reflects what is most important. 

See it as an opportunity to add in something that matters more to you, or that is going to make the event feel more comfortable.

Some examples of traditions you may want to get rid of to create a personalised day:

• Timeline - Though the timeline may seem set in stone and preached by every wedding vendor ever, you are TOTALLY allowed to throw it out the window and have your day flow how you want
  

• Meal Schedule - If you’re on a tighter budget, or perhaps just aren’t the sort of people who want to be up all night, you can cut out the two meals and just have one bigger one. You don’t have to keep to what everyone knows, though it is good to warn people in advance if it is going to be wildly different, so that they don’t go hungry or are too full to enjoy what you’ve organised.

• Speeches - You don’t have to do the traditional Best Man, Father of the Bride and Groom selection. Some of the most special weddings I’ve seen are where a real variety of people gave speeches. Not only does it feel more personal, but also creates an intimacy that’s unmatched. And for those that don’t like public speaking, you don’t have to have speeches at all!

• Size - When we think of weddings, we often thing of big, extravagant affairs with 100’s of people (some of which you barely even know). However, if this is not your speed, cut down the size! Only invite who you REALLY want to be there, and if you only want 10 people, that is no crime! Elopements and intimate ceremonies are becoming more and more popular as people remember what is truly significant to their day, their love.

So to help you day feel as personalised as possible, dig deep into your relationship, figured out what matters the most and do away with what doesn’t fit. It is not a do or die formula but can be a really useful tool to help you navigate wedding planning, whether just starting, or wanting to finish off those final details.